Tag Archives: victim blaming

What kind of rape apologist are you?

4 Jun

TRIGGER WARNING: The following contains descriptions that may serve as triggers for survivors of sexual violence

So you’ve done the Marie Claire, What Shoe Heel Are you most Like? quiz,  Glamour’s questionnaire has confirmed that – congratulations – you are ‘Ana’ enough to date Christian Grey, and you know which which romantic comedy cliché you are (that last quiz is genious, btw), but you still don’t know who you really are? Well laydeez and gentleman, don’t stress! Our quiz this week will take you one step further on your exciting journey of self-discovery through ridiculous monthly magazine quizzes as you find out, are you a rape apologist, and if so, what kind?

1) When is it ok to have sex with someone without her/his consent?

a) When they are unconscious

b) When they are asleep

c) When you perceive them to be “really fit” and a bit “slutty”

d) When they look older than 13

e) When they are drunk and/or high on drugs

f) Never

If you answered f), go straight to the “Results” section below

2) In cases of alleged rape, the accuser is obviously lying/the accuser shouldn’t have justice if the accused is…

a) Really, really good at football

b) A Left-wing, anti-corporate hero

c) A “Uni Lad” partaking in hilarious “banter”

d) A famous, arty, well-connected director

e) Her boyfriend

3) If one accuses someone else of rape apology, this is most likely because one is…

a) Lacking in compassion. Many young lives are ruined when rapists who are minors are punished for their (natural) sexual misconduct, apparently

b) A raving republican involved in a complot against wikileaks

c) A “dyke”

d) Like one of the baddies in Les Miserables

e) Confused about what rape is. “Rape isn’t always rape”

Results

If you answered mostly a), you are probably…

A CNN Style Rape Apologist!

You think it is super sad when rapists are caught 😦 If they are young (like the young star football players from Steubenville who repeatedly gang raped a girl and circulated their films of the incidents via social media) being on the sex-offenders list means they might have trouble getting a job in the future 😦

If you answered mostly b) you are probably…

A “Free Assange”-style Rape Apologist!

Along with John Pilger, Ken Loach, Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and many more high profile, respectable leftie fellahs, you probably feel really sad about wikileaks founder Julian Assange being cooped up in the Ecuadorian embassy. If a gal consents to sex once, surely it’s not rape if you roll on top of her again and start going at it when she’s sleeping. And if a girl says she won’t have sex unless you wear a condom, if you don’t bother putting one on and force her legs open a bit, that’s not rape, is it? You’re with George Galloway: it’s just “bad sexual etiquette.”

If you answered mostly c), you are probably…

A Uni Lad Rape Apologist!

You think rape is hilaire!!! And, as your fave magazine (Uni Lad is voted number one lads mag for male UK university students, apparently!) has noted, 85% of rapes go unreported, so you’ll probably get away with it! Hilarious! If any “bitch” tells you that this isn’t funny, just tell her that’s she’s a “dyke” (she’s probs just bitter cos she’s ugly and no1 wants to do her!) It’s all about the bantaaaaaah! Just remember to say “surprise”!

If you answered mostly d), you are probably…

A Hollywood A-Lister  or French Foreign Minister-style Rape Apologist!

So a famous film director rapes a 13 year-old girl. So he did something that was wrong. So he sought exile in France to avoiding having to go to prison after being charged with, and pleading guilty to, unlawful sex with a minor. But, do we really have to keep on hounding the poor guy? He’s getting old now and his films are so beautiful. Plus, Polanski’s a stickler for old-fashioned romance!

If you answered mostly e), you are probably…

Nick Ross, ex-Crimewatch presenter famous for his interesting retort against Miriam O’Reilly’s complaint of BBC ageism/sexism, “I’ve never worked with a minger”! Ross rightfully points out that many victims “tend to feel dirty, embarrassed, racked with revulsion and self-blame after their rape”, and therefore suggests that we give the victims a voice in these cases and acknowledge that their rape wasn’t really rape (it would be patronising not to, says Nick), especially if the perpetrator was their boyfriend, or if the victim was drunk or high on drugs. Thanks Nick. You and Kenneth Clark, who finds date rape confusing and not always that serious, probably get on well.

If you are an aspiring Nick Ross-style rape apologist, Gloss Watch’s brilliant style-guide may help you.

If you answered f) to the first question…

I’m sorry you have to share this earth with human beings that fall into categories a) to e).

Supporting the Police with further ridiculous safety tips to help me not get raped

4 Apr

Trigger warning: the following contains photos that may serve as a trigger to victims of sexual violence

It seems that the Police believe that women would not worry about their own safety if the Police did not tell them too. Therefore, in order to reduce rapes, the Police tell us to follow their top safety tips, which apparently will stop rape happening: do not drink; do not walk home alone; do not take minicabs; do not behave in a “seductive” way; do not talk to strangers; do not dress “provocatively,” etcetera etcetera. If you neglect to follow these tips and you are consequently raped, it is your own fault. The rapist has no agency in his actions. Rape is a passive phenomenon that women leave themselves open to if they do not behave in certain modest ways. Men cannot help themselves. Or so imply the Police’s anti-rape campaigns.

Let me add that the Police seem to be unaware that most rapists do not follow the “knife-wielding stranger down the dark alleyway” model (although, truth be told, some do), that most rapists are known to the victim, and that, therefore, the Police’s “tips” are redundant since the only way for a woman to avoid getting raped is to avoid being in the company of rapists, which is, unfortunately, impossible.

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Thames Valley police’s trigger-inducing anti-rape poster tells girls not to drink (and parents not to buy their daughter’s drink) less a helpless boy find himself raping them

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Sickeningly badly-judged poster from the Met Police. This poster has forced me to begin several a tube-catching day in the most foul of moods.

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West Mercia police have now apologised for the above poster, and have admitted that rapists, rather than alcohol, cause rape.

Let’s be clear – all things considered, the Police’s safety-tip-focused, don’t-get-raped campaigns are somewhat misogynist, given their focus on victim-blaming (the non-misogynist alternative would be anti-rape campaigns that encourage men not to rape). In response, the wonderful world of twitter feminists has created a few sublime #safetytipsforladies to complement the Police’s ridiculousness.

 Ladies, to avoid rape, try the following:

–       “Carry a whistle, people may think you are a high school football coach and respect your autonomy”

–       “It’s well known that rapists have evil background music accompaniment, so keep your ears open and listen!”

–       “Avoid places where there are rapists or possible rapists, the moon for example is currently men free”

–       “Fill your vagina with cement and let it dry”

–        “Safe fashion outfits include a Sherman tank, a hollowed-out rhinoceros, and a Wheelie bin with holes cut for your feet”

–       “Skin tantalizes rapists, whether visible or coquettishly covered. Leave your skin at home.”

–        “Don’t be attacked by guys with a promising future. That is the absolute WORST decision you can make.”

–        “Rapists love ponytails. Surround yourself with ponies and the rapists will be too confused to attack”

–       “Always project strong body language. Rapists are put off by women who walk on their hands continuously”

–        “The majority of rapists are known to the victim. Consider not knowing any men.”

–       “It is a fact that rapists target human ladies, so be an animorph. Transform into an eagle at the first sign of danger.”

–       “If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way”

–       “If you wear a broccoli safety-pinned to your lapel manly carnivorous men will be repelled and won’t rape you”

–        “Always carry a Furby. It’s a proven fact that everyone is afraid Furbies, so when attacked, throw it at the rapist.”

–        “Just accept rape cultures definition of consent. Then you can never be raped.”

–        “Take a course on personal empowerment and then wear a cape to let would-be-rapists know that you are empowered.”

–        “When approached in a bar by a man you don’t know … what were you doing in a bar anyway you slut?”

–       “Stop being a woman in public”

Letter to CNN’s rape apologists

21 Mar

Dear Ms Crowley and Ms Harlow,

After a few days away from the Anglophone media, I was this morning alerted to your news report, date 17th March, on the trial of the Steubenville rapists: the high school boys who kidnapped a 16 year old girl who was vomiting at the roadside and fell unconscious, then drove her – over a period of several hours – from party to party where they repeatedly gang raped and urinated on her. They and their delighted, laughing pals filmed the attacks whilst shouting comments such as “she is so raped,” “they raped her quicker than Mike Tyson!”, “they raped her more than the Duke lacrosse team!”; and she was “deader than Trayvon Martin” and then shared videos and photographs via social media, which, incidentally, went viral. Laurie Penny has compared these images to the photographs taken between the 1880’s and 1930’s, which show white Americans grinning beneath the naked mutilated body of a black man or woman hanging behind them from a tree. The lynching photographs were souvenirs of a collective action whose participants felt perfectly justified in what they had done, just as those Steubenville boys did. And you reinforce their sense of justification.

As you are no doubt aware, when the girl (commonly known in the media as Jane Doe) and her family reported the crime to the police, she began to receive death threats as inhabitants of the town of Steubenville, Ohio, united in an attempted mass cover up of the rapes, in order to protect the implicated young boys, who happened to be the town’s star football players.

You could say that Jane Doe has been raped many times: firstly by the boys that invaded her unconscious body; secondly by the party-goers who watched and did nothing; thirdly by the people that delighted in sharing and mocking pictures of her ordeal via social media; and now by the great masses of rape apologists who rally behind her rapists rather than her (you may count yourselves in this final category).

Pardon the digression. Back to your news report. To jog your memories, here is a link to your report: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cvUCDjLDIk. I have also enclosed a transcript of your dialogue in case your internet connection is too slow for you to watch the video comfortably (see below).

In your report, the two of you, plus your “expert”, Paul Callan, express incredible levels of sadness, sympathy and regret for those poor rapists who will spend over a year in a detention centre for their crimes. You feel, I quote, “incredibly emotional” at the sight of these boys crying in court as “their lives fell apart”. Indeed, Ms Harlow, in terms of the compassion you feel for the two boys, you say that you’ve “never experienced anything like it.” All three of you lament that these boys will now be labeled as sex offenders for their whole lives, despite being “good students.”

It’s so very sad when rapists get caught, especially when they are good students. I feel your pain… I really do (I don’t) … and so I have developed a few tips to help you help other defenceless young boys in potential danger of having their lives ruined with custodial sentences and appearances on the sex offenders register:

1) Don’t commit a sex offence*

I can’t think of any more tips.

Yours sincerely,

Joanna Allan

* Kidnapping someone, repeatedly raping them, urinating on them and filming it constitutes a sex offence.

P.S. Will CNN be televising a public apology for this appalling piece of journalism?

P.P.S Your report on this trial breaks my heart. I have never been more amazed and disgusted by anything I have read or heard from a journalist.

TRANSCRIPT FROM CNN NEWS REPORT ON STEUBENVILLE VERDICT

CROWLEY: “Again, this case was played out in juvenile court, that is why there was a judge, no jury. He decided on the verdict, as well as, you heard there, talking about the sentence.

We want to go now to CNN’s Poppy Harlow. She is in Steubenville, and has been covering this trial.

I cannot imagine having just watched this on the feed coming in. How emotional that must have been sitting in the courtroom.”

POPPY HARLOW, CNN CORRESPONDENT: “I’ve never experienced anything like it, Candy. It was incredibly emotional — incredibly difficult even for an outsider like me to watch what happened as these two young men that had such promising futures, star football players, very good students, literally watched as they believe their life fell apart.

One of — one of the young men, Ma’lik Richmond, when that sentence came down, he collapsed. He collapsed in the arms of his attorney, Walter Madison. He said to me, “My life is over. No one is going to want me now.”

Very serious crime here. Both found guilty of raping this 16- year-old girl at a series of parties back in August, alcohol-fueled parties. Alcohol is a huge part in this.

But Trent Mays was also found guilty on a second count and that is of felony illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material because he took a photograph of the victim laying naked on the floor that night. Trent Mays will serve two years in a juvenile detention facility. Ma’lik Richmond will serve one year on that one count that he was found guilty for.

I want to let our viewers listen because for the first time in this entire trial we have now heard from the two young men. Trent Mays stood up, apologizing to the victim’s family in court. After him, Ma’lik Richmond.”

Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRENT MAYS, FOUND GUILTY OF RAPING IN JUVENILE COURT: “I would really like to apologize to (INAUDIBLE), her family, my family and community. No pictures should have been sent out or should be taken. That’s all. Thank you.”

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: “Anything you’d like to say, Ma’lik?”

MA’LIK RICHMOND, FOUND GUILTY OF RAPE IN JUVENILE COURT:” I would like to apologize. I had no intention to do anything like that and I’m sorry to put you guys through this. (INAUDIBLE) I’m sorry.”

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HARLOW:” I was sitting about three feet from Ma’lik when he gave that statement. It was very difficult to watch.

You know, something that came up throughout this sentencing. Ma’lik’s father had gotten up and spoke. Ma’lik has been living with guardians. His father, a former alcoholic, gotten to a lot of trouble with the law, been in prison before.

And his father stood up and he told the court, ‘I feel responsible for this. I feel like I wasn’t there for my son.’ And before that, he came over to the bench where his son was sitting. He approached him, he hugged him and whispered in his ear.

And Ma’lik’s attorney said to us in a courtroom, I have never heard Ma’lik’s father before say, I love you. He’s never told his son that. But he just did today.

This was an incredibly emotional day. These two juveniles being carried out and they will be committed today, Candy.”

I want to bring in Paul Callan, our CNN legal contributor.

You know, Paul, a 16-year-old now just sobbing in court, regardless of what big football players they are, still sound like 16 year olds. The other one, 17. A 16-year-old victim.

The thing is, when you listen to it and you realize that they could stay until they’re 21, they are going to get credit for time served. What’s the lasting effect, though, on two young men being found guilty in juvenile court of rape, essentially?

PAUL CALLAN, CNN LEGAL CONTRIBUTOR: Well, you know, Candy, we’ve seen here a courtroom drenched in tears and tragedy and, you know, Poppy’s description, I think, you know, sums it all up. But across America scenes like this happen all the time.

I know as a prosecutor and defense attorney, when that verdict is handed down, usually it’s just the family and families of the defendants and the victims, there’s always that moment of just lives are destroyed. And lives have already been destroyed by the crime. And we got a chance to see that.

But in terms of what happens now, yes, the most severe thing with these young men is being labeled as registered sex offenders. That label is now placed on them by Ohio law and, by the way, the laws in most other states now require such a designation in the face of such a serious crime.

That will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Employers, when looking up their background, will see they’re registered sex offender. When they move into a new neighborhood and somebody goes on the Internet where these things are posted. Neighbors will know they’re a registered sex offender.

It’s really something that will have a lasting impact. Much more of a lasting impact than going to a juvenile facility for one or two years.

Letter to John Pilger from an Assange Hater

22 Feb

Dear John,

I am writing to you as someone who had long admired you, just as I had admired Ken Loach and Noam Chomsky who join you in their unwavering Assange support, in your pursuit for “justice, freedom and truth” against imperialism. As my close friends will know, I had especially admired the three of you (that is, yourself, Loach and Chomsky) for your devotion for the largely forgotten Western Sahara cause. Yet, as Shakespeare said, lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds, and my deep admiration has turned to deeper disappointment.

In your V-Day (the international day of the global campaign to end violence against women) piece in The Guardian, you described Julian Assange’s “allies” as devoted to “an epic struggle for justice, truth and freedom.” Sadly, this piece disappoints me so much that I cannot even find it in myself to respond sarcastically, which is my normal reaction to opinions that displease me. I consider myself as anti-imperialist, pro-transparency and generally devoted to “justice, freedom and truth.” However, within my commitment to “justice, freedom and truth” I tend to include “justice, freedom and truth” for women.

Right now, in the UK and elsewhere in the world, the singular issue where “justice, freedom and truth” is most lacking, in my opinion, for women, is that of rape, or “sexual misconduct”, as you might put it. I find that, in my daily life, I am constantly preoccupied by the threat of rape, of Schrödinger’s Rapist (the stranger, who takes it upon himself to approach me, for example by cat-calling, in public, and who may or may not turn out to be my future rapist), and by the weighty “rape culture” in which a number of my actions may, in future, be considered to be “asking for” my own rape.

You claim that the allegations against Assange of “sexual misconduct” (is that a softer way for you to say “rape”?) are “falsehoods”, and imply that, since the women that accuse him had previously consented to sex with Assange, their accusations of rape are dismissible. As a woman, I find this offensive. The idea that any man with whom I have previously consented to sex can come and hump me at will – with or without a condom and certainly without my express consent – does not sit well with my idea of “justice, freedom and truth.” This idea does, however, sit well with the wider rape culture that permeates our society, in which women are expected to follow rape prevention tips if they wish to avoid being blamed for “causing” sexual assault.

I will fight for Western Sahara’s self-determination to the end, yet I will denounce the hushing-up of claims made by Saharawi women of rape by their compatriots (not that this is any worse than the lack of justice for rape survivors anywhere else, the UK included), just as I support the cause of the Palestinian people whilst simultaneously being disgusted by the placing of women’s rights in second place to those of the Palestinian nation as a whole, (which, to me, implies that the Palestinian nation is only for men). Likewise, I support efforts, such as those of wikileaks, to call out government and corporate corruption, but am equally committed to calling out Julian Assange for his lack of respect for women.

I cannot think of a situation where I would not feel hatred towards a rapist. I hate Assange for disrespecting women’s autonomy over their bodies. Therefore, I am a member of the, what you call in your article, “Julian Assange Hate Cult”. Yet, I am not a US government ally “out to crush someone who has revealed its dirty secrets.” Not everything is black and white, a dichotomy of goodies and badies. You can be an anti-imperialist and a rapist. You can be an investigative, leftie journalist and a misogynist.

Yours sincerely,

Assange Hater.

Feminazi witch-hunt of gentlemen with normal sexual preferences

13 Oct

When I was 8, I wrote to Jim’ll Fix It to request that my wish for long hair be granted (at 8, I realised that short hair was most un-princess-like and unfeminine and was rightfully pursuing actions that could rectify the situation). At the time, I was sad to receive no reply, but, since it turns out that the BBC was a 70s refuge for paedophiles, I am somewhat relieved.

Perhaps I am using the wrong terminology. According to the writer Tim Worstall, Jimmy was not a paedophile, since his “sexual preference” was for “mid-to-late adolescents” rather than children, and that Jimmy’s “attractions” are quite normal amongst males. Many commentators on Mr Worstall’s, ahem, surprising piece on male sexuality and indeed more widely, see the uproar around Jimmy’s systematic rape of girls as a necrophiliac lynching of feminist design.  They fear a wider “witch hunt” of other victims such as the late John Peel, who publicly boasted of his exploits with 13 year-olds and allegedly left a 15 year-old pregnant. Such a hunt is uncalled for, since, as music journalist David Hepworth and former BBC Director General Michael Grade helpfully pointed out on the Channel 4 news, such abuse and exploitation of minors was “just part of the showbiz mix” and was certainly not seen as “sinister”.  But, this “culture” is all behind us now. Such attitudes to the treatment of children became dead and buried when the 60s and 70s drew to a close. There is no need to spend huge sums of money investigating why the systematic sexual abuse of children was condoned at the BBC and Leeds General hospital when the country is in economic crisis. It’s all behind us now. What’s done is done and can’t be undone.

But is it done? Barnados estimates that the average age for entering prostitution in my home region of the North East is 13.  We aren’t in the 70s anymore so surely paying to use children for one’s sexual gratification shouldn’t be socially acceptable, but there are customers. Similarly, UK’s rape conviction rate stands at pitifully low 6.5% and it is estimated 95% of rapes aren’t reported in the first place. Perhaps, like Jimmy’s “sexual partners”, rape survivors fear they will not be believed. Why complain if you are likely to be dismissed or belittled (see Pilger or Chomsky on Assange’s complainants), accused of “provoking” your rapist (see rape prevention tips for reminders on how to avoid this), laughed at (I remember Leeds University men’s hockey time holding a hilarious rape victim themed fancy dress night in the Union bar back in 2004) or having your records falsified in order to bring an immediate end to your case without investigation? I would argue that the ever increasing and hugely disproportionate media attention to false allegations of rape adds to this culture of disbelieving survivors.  I would argue that this is the same culture that made Jimmy and his chums untouchable back in the 70s and continues to make other abusers untouchable today.

But not to worry! Sapphire, the Met police’s sex crime unit, has got a new strategy! Their new anti-rape campaign will “speak to women about reducing their vulnerability”. Says Mick Duthie, Detective Chief Superintendent of Sapphire, “we do need to educate people that if they go out and get hammered they are vulnerable – vulnerable to being assaulted – vulnerable to falling over and vulnerable to being raped… 80% of our victims have one form of vulnerability or another, a permanent or temporary vulnerability through drink, drugs, mental health, age. So there are things that we can do to prevent the offence happening in the first place.” It is also encouraging to hear of another vital prong of the Sapphire Strategy: convict rapists of unrelated crimes that are easier to prove. Says Duthie of rapists, “we don’t want them out there committing sexual offences so if they are disqualified from driving … this will help prevent rape.”

That’s right, victims – you have the power to stop the rape happening in the first place. Just don’t be vulnerable. Don’t fall over. Try to be mentally healthy. And the met police will help you by trying to make sure that rapists don’t have the right to drive.

10 rape prevention tips for the modern-day woman

21 Aug

Until recently, I had thought that rape involved any sex that was non-consensual. I had also thought that it was easy for people to tell whether or not their partner consented to sex (just ask them?). However, in my quest to become a socially acceptable woman by paying attention to what mainstream culture says about being woman, I have learnt that rape is not as simple as I had previously thought. I have also learnt that the onus is on women to ensure that rape does not happen. It seems that it is important to talk about rape in these terms – as something that happens to women – because it emphasizes the lack of agency suffered by men when it comes to sex. If, as mainstream culture implies, women “provoke” rape, this simultaneously implies that men can’t control themselves. If some men reading this (and the rape prevention tips below) find this suggestion patronizing and ridiculous, this is probably because they aren’t masculine enough. As mainstream culture suggests, real, manly men exist only to have sex with as many women as possible, by any means necessary. If you think you are a man but do not act like this, then I suggest that you seek to become more masculine, by reading Nuts magazine or by using Lynx grooming products, for example. Meanwhile, women who wish to behave in the proper, feminine manner should pay close attention to the advice set out below.

Thankfully, the media has recently provided us women with plenty of pointers to help us to a) avoid rape happening and b) react properly if we fear we may have been raped (note that we are most likely to be mistaken if so). I have summarised these pointers into ten simple tips:

  1. Don’t wear an outfit that a man may find attractive. If you do, it may be understood that you consent to having sex with all men in presence of your outfit (Source: endless examples of court cases where the clothes of the woman are used as key evidence by the defense)
  2. Don’t drink alcohol. If you do, it might be understood that you consent to having sex with any man in your presence (Source: ESRC research into English juries)
  3. Don’t fall asleep next to Julian Assange (Source: Julian Assange’s defense lawyer)
  4. Don’t ever have a consensual sexual partner. This may be understood to mean that you consent to having sex with him for an indefinite period of time after your act of consensual sex (this includes without a condom but not sure if this includes post-death? If anybody can enlighten me, please let me know!) (Source: Julian Assange’s defense lawyer)
  5. It is commonly known that foreplay is more enjoyable for many women than penetrative sex. As a woman, you may wish to enjoy foreplay without having full sex. However, if you do so, be aware that this may be taken as a sign that you consent to penetration. It may therefore be better to avoid all foreplay if you do not wish for rape to happen. In fact, it is probably best, in the presence of males, to look at the floor and only speak when spoken to, as friendliness may be interpreted as flirting, which we all know is always an invitation for sex (Source: see sources for tips 1 and 2).
  6. Don’t be out of the house without a chaperone after dark, or get in a taxi by yourself. If you do so, you are “asking for it”, or in other words, consenting to sex with a) anyone else who happens to be in the street after dark b) the taxi driver (Source: UK Police anti-rape campaigns across the country)
  7. Don’t have lots of sexual partners (obviously “lots” is a subjective term, so it’s probably best never to have sex with anyone, to be on the safe side). If you do, people may understand that you consent to having sex with anyone, anytime, and may jump on top of you at will. (Source: endless examples of court cases where a woman’s known “promiscuity” has been used by the defense, since, obviously, past promiscuity equals consent)
  8. If you think you were raped and you become pregnant as a result of the incident, then you are mistaken about the rape. This is because, in “legitimate” cases of rape, it is impossible to become pregnant (Source: Senate candidate Todd Akin)
  9. If you are a prostitute and you think you have been raped, then you are mistaken, because it is impossible to be raped if you are a prostitute (Source: any good Yahoo or Daily Mail discussion forum). By being a prostitute, you have consented to having sex with anyone, any time, in any way they want, with or without payment.
  10. If, at any time, you think that someone has raped you, think twice about reporting it to the police, because it might be the case that the incident was “surprise sex” rather than rape. (Source: an actual comment that appeared on my facebook page in response to an anti-rape campaign poster. To quote the comment: “Simon calls it a ‘struggle snuggle’ or ‘surprise sex’ apparently the word rape takes the romance out of it (SIC)”. Please note that said “Simon” works as a police officer).

Oh, a couple more for the road. Don’t go anywhere near Dominique Strauss Kahn. Perhaps avoid George Galloway (and John Pilger and Tony Benn for that matter. But it’s not all doom and gloom – don’t forget that rape can be funny: just ask Jimmy Carr or Russell Brand! :)! Have a nice day!