The Right Honourable Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Education, aka Gove the Great British, son of Gollum, has planned a new history curriculum for our Key Stage 2 halfling halfwits, or so says the Daily Male. For too long now has Labour’s reign of politically correct terror lived on through our school curriculum and, at last, 2013 will see the elimination of non-whites and women from our history diktat.
The new curriculum will be based on the chronicles of Middle Earth, penned long ago in the glorious Shire by one Dildo Baggins. As is the case with Baggins’ history, Middle Britain’s story will be penned in the Home Counties and will be one of white males who have won great battles against the forces of evil (the French and Germans). Again following Baggins’ lead, in Gove’s history there will be but One Woman to Appease Them All: 60 seconds of Cate Blanchett, aka Queen Elizabeth I, who got our men to trash the smelly orc Spanish once and for all! But all other historical women role models will be sent back to their Hobbit Holes to make good food and tend the hearth for when the warring menfolk return! Hurrah! Hurrah for Gove son of Gollum for making British history proper again and freeing us all from the corrupting influence of political correctness!