Tag Archives: Inspiring twitter feeds

Supporting the Police with further ridiculous safety tips to help me not get raped

4 Apr

Trigger warning: the following contains photos that may serve as a trigger to victims of sexual violence

It seems that the Police believe that women would not worry about their own safety if the Police did not tell them too. Therefore, in order to reduce rapes, the Police tell us to follow their top safety tips, which apparently will stop rape happening: do not drink; do not walk home alone; do not take minicabs; do not behave in a “seductive” way; do not talk to strangers; do not dress “provocatively,” etcetera etcetera. If you neglect to follow these tips and you are consequently raped, it is your own fault. The rapist has no agency in his actions. Rape is a passive phenomenon that women leave themselves open to if they do not behave in certain modest ways. Men cannot help themselves. Or so imply the Police’s anti-rape campaigns.

Let me add that the Police seem to be unaware that most rapists do not follow the “knife-wielding stranger down the dark alleyway” model (although, truth be told, some do), that most rapists are known to the victim, and that, therefore, the Police’s “tips” are redundant since the only way for a woman to avoid getting raped is to avoid being in the company of rapists, which is, unfortunately, impossible.

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Thames Valley police’s trigger-inducing anti-rape poster tells girls not to drink (and parents not to buy their daughter’s drink) less a helpless boy find himself raping them

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Sickeningly badly-judged poster from the Met Police. This poster has forced me to begin several a tube-catching day in the most foul of moods.

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West Mercia police have now apologised for the above poster, and have admitted that rapists, rather than alcohol, cause rape.

Let’s be clear – all things considered, the Police’s safety-tip-focused, don’t-get-raped campaigns are somewhat misogynist, given their focus on victim-blaming (the non-misogynist alternative would be anti-rape campaigns that encourage men not to rape). In response, the wonderful world of twitter feminists has created a few sublime #safetytipsforladies to complement the Police’s ridiculousness.

 Ladies, to avoid rape, try the following:

–       “Carry a whistle, people may think you are a high school football coach and respect your autonomy”

–       “It’s well known that rapists have evil background music accompaniment, so keep your ears open and listen!”

–       “Avoid places where there are rapists or possible rapists, the moon for example is currently men free”

–       “Fill your vagina with cement and let it dry”

–        “Safe fashion outfits include a Sherman tank, a hollowed-out rhinoceros, and a Wheelie bin with holes cut for your feet”

–       “Skin tantalizes rapists, whether visible or coquettishly covered. Leave your skin at home.”

–        “Don’t be attacked by guys with a promising future. That is the absolute WORST decision you can make.”

–        “Rapists love ponytails. Surround yourself with ponies and the rapists will be too confused to attack”

–       “Always project strong body language. Rapists are put off by women who walk on their hands continuously”

–        “The majority of rapists are known to the victim. Consider not knowing any men.”

–       “It is a fact that rapists target human ladies, so be an animorph. Transform into an eagle at the first sign of danger.”

–       “If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way”

–       “If you wear a broccoli safety-pinned to your lapel manly carnivorous men will be repelled and won’t rape you”

–        “Always carry a Furby. It’s a proven fact that everyone is afraid Furbies, so when attacked, throw it at the rapist.”

–        “Just accept rape cultures definition of consent. Then you can never be raped.”

–        “Take a course on personal empowerment and then wear a cape to let would-be-rapists know that you are empowered.”

–        “When approached in a bar by a man you don’t know … what were you doing in a bar anyway you slut?”

–       “Stop being a woman in public”

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Things people wouldn’t say about/to men

7 Mar

In an attempt to preserve and document #thingspeopledontsaytomen:

“Look how he’s dressed. What a cunttease!”

“You may well have a point, sir, but nobody will listen to you unless you stop being so shrill and hysterical”

“Raven haired George Osborne delivered the budget in his shiny black shoes and prim blue suit”

“If we had all-white, all-male shortlists we wouldn’t get very good candidates”

He’s a “Working Father”/a “Career Father”/a “Single Father”

“He’s such a whore/slut”

“Update your wardrobe with this seasons must-have colours!”

“Stop being such a big boy’s shirt”

“Let’s go over and listen to the commentary from the boys’ event.”

“Hahahaha a male mechanic? Can they even take a wheel off?”

“Don’t be so sensitive! Jokes about men being raped/beaten/murdered are just harmless banter”

“So when is she gonna put a ring on that finger?”

“He’s really clever & successful but I bet he would give it all up to be pretty. It’s a shame for him”

“Why didn’t you change your name when you got married?”

“He must be lying. He’s a manipulative attention-seeker”

“What’s up with the temper? Having your raspberry week, or what?”

“Do you want to share a school run?”

“Phwoar look at the legs on that. I was talking about the beer, honest dahlin'”

“Damn baby, how are you? You’re sexy. Why won’t you talk to me? I’m just trying to be nice, you fat bastard.”

“If you didn’t want strangers to shout things at you about your body, then you shouldn’t have worn those shorts”

“Men are really bad at spatial awareness. It’s because of cave people that men have car accidents all the time.”

“Your biological clock is ticking!”

“Oooh, a business trip! Are you going to get some time for shopping?”

“Most men secretly want to be raped. It’s nature.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Your anger at being treated like a subhuman fucktoy is probably due to a hormonal fluctuation, nothing more.”

“Nothing grosser than a man who doesn’t shave his entire body. Ewwwwwwwwww!”

“I think you’re so *brave* for not wearing make up! I wish I could get away with that.”

“GET YOUR COCK OUT FOR THE LADS/GIRLS!”

“Look at David Cameron pouring his curves into his suit.”

“All that beer is gonna go straight to his hips!”

“Don’t rape.”

“You manage to combine being a full-time scientist with being a father?! Amazing!”

“I’m going to have to ask you to change jobs, because you’ve been sexually harassed by the boss.”

“He should “save himself” for marriage”

“You’re very handsome. How come you aren’t married? Is it because you work too hard?”

“He says he was raped but he was obviously asking for it.”