Last week, I learnt a valuable lesson from our Great British Highness Kate Middleton, who, in a most unladylike fashion, has been revealing her breasts in public. Although she was technically on private property, her bare chest was within camera-lens-zooming distance of a public road, which, as several media publications have been helpful enough to point out, means that she is complicit in her semi-naked body becoming public property for scrutiny.
Ladies, revealing yourself, or wearing tight, “provocative” clothing, in any place where you could possibly be seen (even if within the boundaries of your own private premises) is not feminine behaviour at all. If you are photographed whilst doing so by a creepy man or a journalist, then you can only blame yourself. Evidence of ladies that have not behaved as they should is often posted on internet websites such as http://creepshots.com/. Creepshots is a masculine place where observant people post pictures of the bottoms, crotches and breasts of unaware lady members of the public. Such websites are useful to women and girls, as they help to encourage us to act and dress in the modest fashion that is best-suited to our sex.
Proper ladies should always ensure that they are covered up. When taking a bath, wear a wet-suit. When you need the toilet, do not lower your drawers, but make use of a nappy. Whilst canoodling in bed with your gentleman friend, use the old hole-in-sheet trick, lest he secretly be filming you. A few simple precautions such as these can go a long way when it comes to maintaining your respectable, lady reputation. If only Kate Middleton had been following my blog before she went to France.
Finally, as a last request before you navigate away from this blog, may I ask that you take a few short moments to close your eyes and reflect on the glory and sanctity of female modesty. Oh, to be a woman, sitting fully clothed in the bath.