Whilst leafing through Saturday’s edition of Ideal, a local Andalusian paper, I chanced upon Ideal’s very own Woman Today magazine. I was very fortunate to do so, since it has been a long time since I have read something so current and relevant to the modern day Western woman. Indeed, as well as an enlightening interview in which I learnt how David Gardy (star of the Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue aftershave advert and top role model for all men) smelt (“If the sensuality of the Mediterranean was a perfume, David Gardy would smell exactly like it.”), the magazine was full of useful insights into how to make myself more perfect. Sitting in the hot sunshine as I was, one article in particular caught my attention and immediately caused me a considerable degree of worry.
In the article, Moncho Moreno (hairdresser, make up artist and proper scientific expert) advised that women should take “extreme care” of their hair during the summer season, since the hair’s “true enemies, like the sun, sea or pool water, sand and repeated washings really are hostile elements, which mean dehydration, lack of shine and hair weakness.” Reading these words, it dawned on me that the hairdresser was right. After a couple of days of abusing my hair with sun, sea, chlorine, sand and repeated shampooings, my hair was in a horrific condition and was so dry that its texture was almost pubic.
Something had to be done, yet I was reluctant to spend €25.50 on the Hydrating Hair Filter Mask recommended by Moreno as the preferred solution to this horrible problem (we are in crisis after all): Therefore, in absence of a parasol, I decided to protect my hair from the sun with an umbrella.
At first, this worked a treat and I was able to continue to read top advice for the modern day woman from Woman Today magazine with a newfound tranquillity. Nevertheless, when I went for a dip, the umbrella proved impractical.
I then thought of simply wearing a hat, but the sand continued to blow in my hair and I would still need to carry out a damaging shampooing session at the end of the day. What to do now?
I contemplated this for a while, and came to the conclusion that there was only one solution. The sun filtering hydration mask for one’s hair is indispensable for any modern day woman who is on holiday, because if your hair is not shiny and soft, you are not really a woman. So, I applied the sun filter, carefully following the hairdresser’s advice to the tee and applying half and hour before exposure to the sun and again after each swim.
Given that I swim 6 times per day (it is very hot in Spain), I used up a whole bottle in one day. So, over my 2 week holiday, I used 14 bottles, which cost €350 or 220% of the weekly equivalent of the average local unemployment benefit (the unemployment rate in Granada, the city of Woman Today’s readership, stands at 36.5%). But, as Woman Today knows, crisis or no crisis, it was worth it as my hair was looking younger, if not a little crispy. Voila:
However, a final word of warning for the reader who is about to invest in a few bottles of Hydrating Hair Filter Mask, as Woman Today warns, take into account the PAO, or “Period After Opening”, of your product. As soon as you open the lid of your product, its “Useful Life” will be ticking away, and it “may be contaminated by various causes, such as the actions of microorganisms originating from contact with fingers or the air.” But, not to worry, you can avoid the minefield of PAOs by investing in Lactic Argan Crème, which will only set you back €31.10 a bottle, and comes recommended by Woman Today’s expert, Paloma Calderon, of the Institute of Medical Aesthetics of Madrid and pharmacist Manuel Lopez (also PR Director of a cosmetics company, presumably one that sells Argan). Argan, according to these experts is one of the “stars of the moment”, comes from the Moroccan “Tree of life” and lasts for “over 200 years”. According to Woman Today, you can even use the product on your baby (assuming, firstly, that your baby has hair, and secondly, that she suffers from lack of hair shine, that common worry above all worries for babies).